Next Steps to Reclaiming Your Life After a Breakup
“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.” – Nicole Sobon
After you’re solidly on the path to getting stronger and reclaiming your sense of self, you’ll need to shore up your belief that your life is perfectly fine with or without a relationship. This will help insure you’re in a better place when the time is right to do it again. The perception is often that we’ll never feel better. The good news though, is that you have success and confidence “muscles” that will help you through this and get stronger as you adjust to your new reality. And once you have the understanding of how, it actually takes far less conscious effort than you might imagine. What follows are three more tools necessary to make that transition:
- Overcome limiting beliefs
- Increase willpower
The best and fastest way to increase confidence and willpower is to remind yourself constantly about those aspects of your personality you like most.
Make a list of your resources to include the things you are best at and strong in as well as others in your life who are both able and willing to provide support during this challenging time.
Be generous and kind in your personal assessment here. We tend to be unnecessarily critical of ourselves and downplay many of our best assets, but so many of the things you might be putting in the “con” list may actually be incredible “pros” if just looked at from a different direction.
Think about the traits that make you special and each time a negative thought pops in your head, crowd it out with a stronger memory of something positive. There will be days when this seems virtually impossible as you will view yourself through the perceived lens of the person who hurt you. However, each time you successfully build yourself up, those confidence muscles will get stronger. Eventually it will become automatic for you mind to shut down criticism not only from yourself but from others too.
Once again I’m providing some thoughts to ponder that will help you on your journey.
- Consider this: If fear were not a factor so that you weren’t scared of anything what would you do with your life?
- How do you react when someone pays you a compliment? How does it make you feel?
- Ask yourself what stories are you telling repeatedly?
- What do the things you say and the manner in which you say them reveal about you?
- How have those stories affected your current life?
- Can you identify both positive and negative ways this thinking has impacted you?