Staring down the future

I saw a surgeon about my back pain yesterday. He says that the disc that was herniated 12 years ago is severely degenerated now. He doesn’t believe I am a candidate for surgery at this point, but also couldn’t answer whether the problem is fixable. He referred me to a pain doctor for potentially a third round of epidurals. Listening to him I vacillated between hope that it will get better and despair at the thought of “pain management” for the rest of my life.

I know that the times in my life that I have experienced back pain always coincided with my allowing myself to get out of shape. It was my actions that led to the problems and I hold in my heart the desperate belief that I can and will power through this. I can overcome this and reach a place where drugs and pain are a thing of the past.

With that thought in mind I will head to the park with the dogs which in and of itself always makes me feel better. Starting tomorrow morning I will post my weight and measurement statistics along with my goals the most important of which is to become pain free.

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